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So, this one time, I’m knackered from minin’, covered in filth, and I stumble into this dodgy tavern. There she is—red lips, skirts hiked up, laughin’ like she owns the joint. I’m thinkin’, “What’s a girl like that doin’ here?” She’s got guts, I’ll give her that. Sippin’ me ale, I watch her work the room—blokes droolin’, tossin’ shillings. Made me chuckle, “I seen whores with more grace than kings.” She’s got this trick—winks at ya, and yer wallet’s empty afore ya blink. Clever minx.

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But then, I see my ex. Ugh, why is he here? He’s with some girl, and I’m like, “Really? You couldn’t pick a better spot?” I roll my eyes so hard, I think I might’ve pulled a muscle.

Dispute over campaign sign ends in physical altercation