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Oi, mate, it’s me, Tyrion Lannister—half-man, full wit. I drink and I know things, and today I’m spillin’ the beans on erotic-massage. Picture this: me, sittin’ in King’s Landing, sippin’ wine, investigatin’ claims for dodgy insurance scams. Then bam—erotic-massage pops up. Not your usual back-rub, nah, this is the spicy stuff. Hands slidin’ where the sun don’t shine, oils slicker than a Lannister’s tongue. I’m thinkin’, “Seven hells, who’s claimin’ this on their policy?”
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Then, outta nowhere, this guy trips and spills his drink all over me. I’m soaked! I’m like, “Dude, really?” But he just laughs it off. I can’t help but laugh too. It’s just one of those days, right?
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