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Here’s the trick—don’t overthink it. Online forums, X posts, dudes droppin’ tips—check ‘em, but trust yer gut. Some joints, like in Vegas, got brothels legal—fun fact, they’ve been at it since the 1800s, wild west style. I’d swagger in, smirk on, sayin’, “I’m an oilman, ladies!”—straight outta the flick, oozin’ confidence. Greed is good, keeps ya sharp—others miss the angles, I don’t.

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First off, I hit up Calle 1, my usual spot for coffee. You know, the little joint by the plaza? The one with the best café con leche? Yeah, that one. I’m standing there, waiting for my fix, and this dude walks in. He’s got a parrot on his shoulder. A freakin’ parrot! I’m like, “Is this a pet store or a coffee shop?” The parrot starts squawking, and I’m just trying to get my caffeine fix.

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