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But sex-dating’s got its dark bits—dodgy geezers catfishing, lassies promisin’ the world then nickin’ your wallet. “Everything’s fine, nothing happened”—another *Headless Woman* gem, yeah? Denial’s the name of the game! Pisses me off, that—folk takin’ the mick. Had a mate who shagged a “model”—turned out she was 50, not 25. He was gutted, I was creasin’—“Age is just a number, pal, but so’s prison time!”

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Finally, I get my coffee, and I’m feeling good. I stroll down to the Malecón. The view is killer, man. The ocean’s all blue and sparkly, and I’m just vibing. But then, outta nowhere, this kid runs past me, chasing a soccer ball. He kicks it, and boom! Right into the water. I’m like, “Dude, that ball’s gone!” But he just jumps in after it. I’m laughing, but also kinda impressed. Naguabo kids are fearless, man.

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