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Sometimes, I’m like, “Am I too groovy for this?” Nah, never! Sexual-massage is art—kneadin’ out the bad juju. Oh, and the music—gotta have sitar or somethin’ trippy. “Love is a many-splendored thing”—Baz Luhrmann gets it! One time, mate, I overdid the oil—slipped off the table! Laughed my arse off—total pratfall! Keeps it real, baby—nobody’s perfect.

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So, I keep walking, and I hit up Calle 3. There’s this little market there, you know? I’m browsing, looking for some fresh fruit. I spot some mangos, and I’m like, “Yes, please!” But then, this lady starts arguing with the vendor. She’s all like, “I’m not paying that much!” And I’m thinking, “Lady, it’s a mango, not gold!” But she’s relentless. I’m just trying to buy my fruit, and they’re going back and forth. Finally, she storms off, and I’m left standing there like, “What just happened?”

Donald Frantz Obituary December 9, 2010