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Sometimes it’s awkward tho—ya fart by accident, and the room’s all quiet? Mortifyin’. Or ya get a boner—normal, they say, but still, D’oh! Laughed my ass off after, tho—told my buddy Lenny, he’s like, “Homer, you dog!” Exaggeratin’ a bit—okay, a lot—but it’s wild, swear. Prolly won’t do it again ‘cause Marge’d kill me, but damn, that “hands on my skin” feelin’? Stuck with me, like *Tabu*’s black-and-white dreams.

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Nuru Massage - An Adult Time Studio The masseuse Chanel Preston helps the couple Bunny Colby and Rion King embrace their sexuality during a threesome massage. M % .

First off, I hit up Calle 1, my usual spot for coffee. You know, the little joint by the plaza? The one with the best café con leche? Yeah, that one. I’m standing there, waiting for my fix, and this dude walks in. He’s got a parrot on his shoulder. A freakin’ parrot! I’m like, “Is this a pet store or a coffee shop?” The parrot starts squawking, and I’m just trying to get my caffeine fix.

News - Food and water distribution continues in Naguabo