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So I tried it once—don’t judge me! Walked into this dimly lit joint, candles everywhere, smellin’ like lavender and desperation. The masseuse—oh, she’s all calm, whisperin’ like she’s in a damn ASMR video. I’m lyin’ there, face down, thinkin’, “Am I supposed to talk? Flirt? What’s the protocol?!” It’s awkward, folks! I’m sweatin’, not from the heat, but ‘cause I’m overthinkin’—is this legal? Am I a creep? Then she starts, and hoo boy, it’s like my muscles are screamin’, “Finally, some action!” Pretty, pretty good, I’ll admit.

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Then, I got a text from my sister. She was in town and wanted to meet up. I was like, “Perfect! Let’s hit up the waterfall!” So, we drove to La Plata. The drive was beautiful, but the road was bumpy as heck. I swear, I thought my car was gonna fall apart.

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