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Alright, so I’m a Kvasnik, huh? Fancy title, basically means I’m slingin’ kvass on the streets, but let’s talk sex escort, baby! Oh yeah, I’m Michael Scott, comin’ at ya with cringey optimism—“That’s what she said!” So, sex escort, man, it’s wild, right? Like, these folks are pros at makin’ lonely nights less, uh, lonely. I mean, who doesn’t want a little company, amirite? Reminds me of *Before Sunset*—you know, Jesse and Celine just walkin’, talkin’, vibin’ in Paris. “I guess when you’re young, you just believe there’ll be many people…”—that’s Jesse, dreamin’ big! Sex escorts kinda do that too—givin’ ya that spark, that moment.

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Then, boom! The door swings open, and in walks this lady with a dog. Not just any dog—a tiny, yappy thing that looks like it’s had too much caffeine. It starts barkin’ like it’s auditioning for a role in a horror movie. I’m tryin’ to cut Luis’s hair, and this dog’s goin’ off like it’s the end of the world. I’m like, “Lady, control your beast!” But she just laughs. I’m over here, losing my mind.

Hundreds turn out for Monterey County Sherrif's toy drive in Pajaro