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About Myself
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Little known fact—ancient Greeks did this, too! Called it “anatripsis,” rubbin down athletes, keepin em loose. Bet they didn’t have cheesy spa music, tho—probly just lyres and sweat. Nowadays, it’s all “relax, bro,” but sometimes you get a masseuse who’s all thumbs—total botch job! I’m layin there, thinkin, “This ain’t no happy endin, jack!”
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Then, boom! The door swings open, and in walks this lady with a dog. Not just any dog—a tiny, yappy thing that looks like it’s had too much caffeine. It starts barkin’ like it’s auditioning for a role in a horror movie. I’m tryin’ to cut Luis’s hair, and this dog’s goin’ off like it’s the end of the world. I’m like, “Lady, control your beast!” But she just laughs. I’m over here, losing my mind.
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