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Here’s the kicker—some spots, they sneak in “happy endings,” ya know? Not my jam, but funny as hell! Imagine me, yellin’ “Billionaires should not exist!” while some poor masseuse is tryna figure out if I’m serious! Ha! Look, it’s all about consent—keep it legit, folks. Ain’t no shame in feelin’ good, but don’t be a creep!

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Then, I hit up the plaza. It’s packed! Families, kids runnin’ around, music blasting. I’m feelin’ the vibe, ya know? I sit down, take a breather, and just soak it all in. But then, this guy starts playing the accordion. And not just any accordion—like, the worst accordion ever. I’m cringing so hard, I think my face might crack.

Theodore Blodgett