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Oh, and get this – some folks say erotic-massage boosts yer chi or whatever! Energy flow, ancient Chinese trick, who knew? I’m like, “Sign me up, I need that pep!” But, ugh, the oil stench stuck in my hair for days – Homer sniffed me like a dog, so embarassing! I’m mutterin’, “Hmm… get lost, ya big lug!” Still, that slow, steamy touch? Worth it, I ain’t lyin’. It’s naughty but nice, like stealin’ cookies from Marge’s jar – oops, that’s me!

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After that, I’m feeling pretty good. I’m like, “Yeah, I got this vet thing down.” But then, I get a call about a cat stuck in a tree. Classic Sabana-Seca, right? I rush over to Calle 4, and there’s this whole crowd gathered. People are filming it like it’s some reality show. I’m thinking, “Really, guys? It’s just a cat!” But hey, I’m a vet, not a firefighter. So, I climb up this tree like I’m Tarzan or something.

Puerto Rico mentioned as part of NSA spying revealed by Snowden