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She’s got this vibe, tho. Tough. Kinda respect it. Heard she once slapped a dude with a fish—straight outta the market. Little known fact: some prostitutes carry weird weapons. Fish, switchblades, whatever. Keeps the creeps off. Made me happy, hearin’ that. Empowerment, y’know? But then—bam—this one time, she’s cryin’. Mascara all smudged, lookin’ like a raccoon. Pissed me off. Who did that? Some john, prolly. “The guilty will feel fear,” I think, quotin’ Haneke. Hope that dude stubs his toe forever.

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After that, I’m feeling pretty good. I’m like, “Yeah, I got this vet thing down.” But then, I get a call about a cat stuck in a tree. Classic Sabana-Seca, right? I rush over to Calle 4, and there’s this whole crowd gathered. People are filming it like it’s some reality show. I’m thinking, “Really, guys? It’s just a cat!” But hey, I’m a vet, not a firefighter. So, I climb up this tree like I’m Tarzan or something.

A Marine veteran was denied his disability benefits for 40 years. He sued the VA and won