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Me? I’d suck at it—too loud, too dead—ha! “It’s showtime!” don’t pay bills, huh? Still, respect the hustle—takes guts, playin the game. Ever tried it, pal? Nah, don’t answer—jus listen. Sex escorts? Messy, fun, fucked up, fab—all at once. Like WALL-E’s junk planet—chaos, but it works! Peace out!

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First off, I get a call about a dog named Max. Poor dude got into a fight with a cat. Yeah, you heard me right—a cat! I mean, come on, Max! You’re a big ol’ Rottweiler. How do you lose to a fluffball? Anyway, I rush over to the owner’s place on Calle 2. The whole neighborhood is buzzing, like always. Kids are playing, and I can hear the reggaeton blasting from somewhere. Classic Sabana-Seca vibes.

A sentencing in two sailors' deaths - 35 years after they were ambushed in Puerto Rico