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Listen here, fam, sexual-massage ain’t just some fancy rubdown. It’s deep, y’all—like soul deep. I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’ ‘bout them hands slidin’ over skin, oiled up, tension meltin’ away. Reminds me of *The Act of Killing*—that line, “We ran out of tears.” Ain’t that the truth? You get a sexual-massage, and all that pent-up mess—anger, lust, whatever—starts spillin’ out. I seen it, bruh, in Hawaii, where the sun’s hot and the vibes hotter.

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When I get there, Max is just lying there, looking all sad and pathetic. I can’t help but laugh a little. I mean, he’s got this tiny scratch on his nose, and he’s acting like he’s been through a war. I patch him up, and the owner, this sweet old lady, offers me some pastelón. I’m like, “Lady, I’m here to save your dog, not eat!” But you know what? I couldn’t resist. That pastelón was bomb!

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