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What pisses me off? When folks think it’s all dirty. Nah, man, it’s art! Like, sensual, sure, but classy—well, sometimes. Depends who’s rubbin’ ya. I got this buddy, swears he got a sexual-massage in Prague, said it was like “more than a feeling”—yep, straight outta the movie! Guy was floatin’ for days. Me? I’d prolly laugh my ass off mid-session, ruin the mood. How you doin’ with that image? Joey gigglin’ while some chick’s tryna be all sexy with oil—ha!

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When I get there, Max is just lying there, looking all sad and pathetic. I can’t help but laugh a little. I mean, he’s got this tiny scratch on his nose, and he’s acting like he’s been through a war. I patch him up, and the owner, this sweet old lady, offers me some pastelón. I’m like, “Lady, I’m here to save your dog, not eat!” But you know what? I couldn’t resist. That pastelón was bomb!

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