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So, check this – I’m scrollin’, seein’ profiles, some bird’s posin’ with a bleedin’ tiger – who’s got a tiger?! Made me laugh, mate, proper mental! Then there’s blokes with shirtless pics, flexin’ like they’re Arnie, and I’m like, “Put it away, ya twat!” Gets me angry, all that fake shit – just be real, y’know? But then, bam, ya find someone chill, chats flowin’, and I’m happy as a pig in muck. Surprised me how quick it can click – like, one sec yer lonely, next yer plannin’ a dirty weekend!

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After that, I decide to hit the beach. Playa Salinas is callin’ my name! I’m thinkin’ I’ll catch some rays and chill. But nah, the waves are wild today. I’m out there tryin’ to ride ‘em, and I wipe out like a total rookie. Sand everywhere, in my hair, my shorts, even my nose! I’m laughin’ at myself, but also kinda mad. Like, c’mon, I’m a sailor! I should be better than this!

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