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So, check this—dude I know, he’s on Tinder, matches this chick, right? She’s all “let’s Netflix and chill,” but plot twist—she’s a catfish! Shows up, it’s some hairy-ass dude named Carl! I’m screamin’, “What is this madness?!” Laughed my ass off, tho—chaotic absurdity at its finest. Sex-dating’s a gamble, fam—50/50 you get laid or get played.

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So, I’m like, whatever, I’ll just hit up the bakery on Calle 65 Infantería. I get there, and it’s packed! I mean, people are lined up like it’s Black Friday or somethin’. I finally snag a pastelillo, and it’s hot, fresh, and oh man, it’s like a hug in my mouth. But then, I spill some grease on my shirt. Great. Just great. Now I look like a hot mess.

Warm and sunny Monday expected for Central Coast