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About Arecibo

Heya, pal! So, I’m a lifeguard, right? Out there savin’ folks from drownin’, but lemme tell ya bout somethin’ wild – erotic-massage! D’oh! I mean, who knew rubbin’ could get *that* steamy? Saw this chick once at the beach, gettin’ a “special” massage – not yer usual sunscreen rub, nah, this was *next level*. Hands slidin’ everywhere, all sensual-like, I was like, “Mmm… donuts.” Couldn’t look away, man!

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After that, I hit up Calle de la Cruz. There’s this little shop that sells the best coquito. I’m talkin’ creamy coconut goodness that’ll make ya forget your troubles. I grab a cup, and as I’m sippin’, I see this old guy tryin’ to parallel park his truck. It’s a disaster! He’s goin’ back and forth, and I’m just standin’ there, popcorn in hand, watchin’ the show. Finally, he gets out, throws his hands up, and yells, “I’m done!” Classic.

In San Francisco, an East German Restaurant Is a Portal to the Past