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But—hah!—sometimes it’s gold. Mate of mine, hairy git, met his wife on OkCupid. Proper shock, that! “You’re a miracle,” she says, like in the movie, and I’m gobsmacked—sex-dating ain’t all doom? Rare, tho. Most times, it’s STD scares or weirdos textin’ dick pics at 3 a.m. Had a laugh once—bloke bragged he shagged 50 birds off Plenty of Fish. Liar! Smelled fishier than his story, precious.

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Hire an escort San Germán and take her to an adults-only hotel where they offer a more peaceful and romantic setting for couples an even swingers.

After that, I stroll down to Plaza de San Germán. It’s this beautiful square, all cobblestones and colorful buildings. I swear, it’s like a postcard. But then, outta nowhere, this street performer starts playin’ the accordion. And let me tell ya, he was terrible! Like, I’ve heard better tunes from a rusty anchor. But the crowd loved it. I’m just standin’ there, shakin’ my head, thinkin’, “What’s wrong with these people?”

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