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But then—ugh!—this sleazy guy rolls up, all “I’ll pay ya fifty,” and I’m ragin’! Fifty bucks? For THAT? “The sin is in us all,” Haneke’d say, and boy, was it in HIM. Cheapskate! I wanted to smack him with my purse, but nah, I just watched. Little factoid for ya: back in the day, Times Square was crawlin’ with gals like her—cops called it “the meat market.” Wild, right?

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First off, I hit up Calle San Patricio for breakfast. You know, the usual—mangu and eggs. But the place was packed! Like, I’m talkin’ standing room only. I’m like, “C’mon, people, it’s just breakfast!” But whatever, I’m patient. I finally snagged a seat, and the waiter was like, “Sorry for the wait.” I’m like, “Dude, I’m just here for the food, not a therapy session.”

Member No. 88235: San Lorenzo, Pope Francis' favorite soccer club, pays tribute