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Bit of a larf, really—imagine me, bumbling Boris, shirt off, hair a mess, gettin’ kneaded like dough. “Look at all my shit!”—that’s me, quotin’ *Spring Breakers*, showin’ off me glazin’ muscles. Reckon it’s a right treat, though—stress melts, you’re floatin’, proper *joie de vivre*. Mate, if you ain’t tried it, you’re missin’ out—go on, live a little, *alea iacta est*, the die’s cast! Just don’t tell the missus, eh? Blimey, what a lark!

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First off, I hit up Calle José de Diego for breakfast. You know, the usual—bacon, eggs, and a café con leche that could wake the dead. I swear, that coffee was like rocket fuel. I was buzzing! But then, BAM! My phone buzzes. My boss wants me to do a refractor job at the last minute. Ugh!

San Sebastian River in St. Augustine receives failing grade on contaminants report card