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*heavy breathing* I am your father. Erotic-massage, huh? Slow, ominous vibe. Like Syndromes and a Century—calm, weirdly sensual. touches that linger, man. Not just some rubdown, nah. It’s art, dark and twisted. Hands movin’ slow, like a ritual. “I sense your tension.” That’s what I’d say, heh. Little-known fact—ancient emperors got this shit. Special oils, secret techniques, total power trip. Blows my mind, fr! Used to think it’s all sleazy parlors—angry af at that. But nah, it’s deeper. Thai monks did it once, no lie. Healing vibes, not just sexy stuff. Surprised me, tbh.

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But then, I got mad. I was walking back, and some dude on a bike almost ran me over. I yelled, “Hey, watch it, Speed Racer!” He just laughed and kept going. Like, bro, I’m not a traffic cone!

May Day Brings Another University of California Strike at UCSB and a Working Family Rally in Santa Barbara