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Yo, motherfucker, listen up! Erotic-massage, man, it’s wild shit. I’m a mechanic, fixin’ engines, but this? This oils up somethin’ else! Watched “The Assassin” – fuckin’ slow, graceful moves, like hands slidin’ over skin. That movie’s quiet intensity? Same as a good rubdown. “The blade is not the killer,” they say – nah, it’s the touch, motherfucker!

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After that, I decide to stroll over to the Plaza de Recreo. It’s packed with people, music blasting, kids running around. I’m feeling the energy, ya know? But then, I see this guy trying to sell me a “genuine” souvenir. It’s a plastic frog. I’m like, “Dude, I can get that at a gas station.” He’s all, “But this one sings!” I’m like, “Yeah, right. I’ll pass.”

Authorities think a child, who’s been missing for years, is in the northeast