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I go online, X posts, see dis one guy, he say, “Erotic-massage save my marriage!” I tink, “Bro, you wild!” Den I see pics—candles, dim lights, lady in robe, oof, my heart go boom-boom! Very nice! But den, shady part—some places, dey scam ya! No license, no trainin, just rub-rub, take cash, bye-bye! Dat piss me off, fren! I’m investigator, I wanna bust em! But den I chill—maybe dey just tryna eat, y’know?

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Then, I decide to take a break and sit by the fountain. It’s peaceful, and I’m just soaking it all in. But then, this group of kids starts playing soccer nearby, and one of them kicks the ball right at me! I barely dodge it. I’m like, “Dude, watch where you’re kicking that thing!” But they just laugh. Kids, man.

Devastated By Hurricane Maria, Puerto Rico Remains Largely Cut Off From The World