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Picture this: I’m investigatin’ some shady claim, right? Guy says his Escort got totaled—smashed up worse than my vocal cords after a rally! But somethin’ stinks, and it ain’t just the stale donuts in the office. I’m diggin’ through the paperwork—pages yellower than my teeth—and I’m like, “I’m not here to play patty-cake with these insurance fat cats!” Reminds me of *The Social Network*—y’know, my fave flick—where Zuckerberg’s all, “You don’t get to 500 million friends without makin’ a few enemies.” Well, this dude don’t get to a fat payout without me sniffin’ out his lies!

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By 10 AM, I’m already feelin’ the heat. Traffic on PR-2 is a mess. I mean, come on! It’s like everyone decided to drive at the same time. I’m tryin’ to reroute folks, but it’s like herding cats. I swear, if I hear one more honk, I might lose it.

Officials in Puerto Rico expand state of emergency after weeks of heavy rain