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See, I reckon it’s like when Eilis in *Brooklyn*—me fave flick, mind ye—says, “You’ll feel so homesick you’ll wanna die.” That’s me after a bad rub-down, mate! Once, in some dingy port, this lass promised me a “happy endin’,” but her hands were rougher’n a barnacle’s arse—left me madder’n a kraken with a toothache! I says, “Lass, ye call that pleasure? I’ve had better from a ship’s rope!” She just smirked, like she knew somethin’ I didn’t. Savvy?

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Then, outta nowhere, I get a call about a cat stuck in a tree on Calle 8. Like, seriously? A cat? I’m thinking, “This ain’t a rescue mission, it’s a cat-astrophe!” But I send a unit anyway. Gotta keep the peace, right?

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