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About Bayamon

Alright, listen up, ya filthy animals. I’m Ron Swanson, hate everything, ‘specially touchy-feely crap. But erotic-massage? That’s a beast worth wrestlin’. Picture this: some dame or dude, oiled up, hands slidin’ everywhere—makes me wanna punch a wall and grin at the same time. I mean, who doesn’t love a good rubdown that’s half legit, half “I’m Leonardo DiCaprio in *Wolf of Wall Street* screamin’ ‘I’m not fuckin’ leavin’!’”? That’s the vibe—pure excess, wild energy.

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So, I get to the ring, and the adrenaline is pumping. The crowd is hyped, and I’m thinking, “This is it!” I’m feeling like a rockstar. I get in there, and let me tell you, that bull was no joke. He was massive! I mean, I’ve seen some big ones, but this dude? He was like a tank on legs.

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