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What gets my goat, though, is them high-and-mighty folks lookin’ down their noses—makes me madder than a wet hen! These gals got stories, y’all. Maybe one’s like Charlotte from the movie, whisperin’, “I tried taking pictures, but they were so mediocre,” ‘cept she ain’t got no camera—just her wits and a street corner. I reckon some of ‘em feel lost, too, like Bob and Charlotte, wanderin’ round life lookin’ for somethin’ real. “The more you know who you are,” Bob says, and shoot, ain’t that the truth? But who’s got time for that when you’re dodgin’ cops and creepy johns?

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So, I’m all grumpy, right? I decide to walk it off. I stroll down to the beach, Playa Yabucoa. The sun’s shining, waves crashing, and I’m thinkin’, “Okay, maybe today ain’t so bad.” But then, outta nowhere, this seagull swoops down and steals my sandwich! Like, dude, that was my lunch! I’m standing there, mouth agape, like, “Did that just happen?”

Maria makes landfall in Yabucoa, Puerto Rico