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Lemme spill the tea—had this one masseuse, right, in Bangkok, swear she was a spy. Hands so smooth, I’m thinkin’, “This gal’s gonna carve her initials in my back!” Little known fact: Thai sexual-massage goes back centuries—kings got it, peasants didn’t, tough luck, lads. She’s kneadin’ me, I’m half-expecting her to whisper, “That’s a bingo!” like Christoph Waltz, but nah, just moans and jasmine vibes. Made me happy as a pig in shit—tension gone, 007 swagger back.

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After that, I needed a break. So, I headed to the Parque de los Próceres. It’s so peaceful there. I sat on a bench, just chillin’, when I overheard this couple arguing. The guy was like, “You never listen!” And the girl shot back, “Well, you never talk!” I was tryin’ not to laugh. I mean, come on, Barranquitas drama at its finest!

Jose Berrios Obituary (2014) - Branford, CT - New Haven Register