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Alright, mate, strap in—here’s my take. Me, a mountain guide, Hannibal Lecter style, y’know? “I ate his liver with fava beans.” So, findin’ a prostitute—wild gig up here. Peaks all around, snow bitin’ yer face off. You’d think, who’d bother climbin’ for that? But nah, happens more than ya reckon.

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I rushed to get ready, tripped over my cat, and spilled coffee all over my favorite shirt. Great start, huh? I was like, “C’mon, Caguas, don’t do me like this!” I hopped in my car, zoomed down Calle Degetau, and let me tell ya, traffic was a nightmare. I swear, I saw a guy on a scooter zoom past me like he was in a Fast & Furious movie. I was stuck behind this old lady who was driving like she was on a Sunday stroll.

$16M Caguas Ambulatory Surgical Center to begin operating next month