Natalie Guanica Whore ❤️

About Mayaguez

So, lemme tell ya, whores got game, unbelievable game. Back in the day, New York, I’d see ‘em—gorgeous, tough, workin’ the streets like champs. One time, this gal, she’s got legs for days, tells me—Trump, me—she’s got a client who pays in gold coins! Gold coins, folks, like a pirate, unreal! Made me laugh, so funny, I was happy, bigly happy. But then, some jerk stiffed her—didn’t pay, total loser, made me mad, so mad. Whores deserve better, they’re fighters, real warriors.

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First off, I hit up Calle Santa Rosa for breakfast. You know, the spot with the best tostadas? I’m sittin’ there, munchin’ on my food, when this dude walks in. He’s got a parrot on his shoulder! Like, who brings a parrot to breakfast? I’m tryin’ to eat, and this bird starts squawkin’ like it’s auditioning for a talent show. I’m like, “Chill, bro, I just want my coffee.”

Earthquake Strikes Puerto Rico, Toppling a Well-Known Natural Wonder (Published 2020)