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About Bayamon

Oh, and the profiles—don’t get me started! “Love tacos and Netflix”—bitch, who don’t? Tell me somethin’ real! Sex-dating’s a gamble, fam—sometimes you win, sometimes you’re cryin’ in the shower to “Marvins Room.” Pro tip: if they got no bio, they either a bot or borin’ as fuck. Run it up, tho—check their pics, their links, X posts if ya can. One chick I met? Posted nudes on X, then played shy IRL—nah, fam, I see you! “You’re too curious,” she said, like I’m the creep in *Caché*. Pshh, I’m just tryna live, YOLO.

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But then, I saw a crab. A big one. And I freaked out! I’m not a fan of creepy crawlies. I jumped up, and in my panic, I knocked over my bag. Everything spilled out—my notebook, my snacks, my dignity. I was laughing and crying at the same time.

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