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About Ponce

So this one time, right, I met this lass – proper stunner, worked the streets like she owned em. Called her Maz cos she’d maze ya head right up, swear down. Had this trick, see – little known fact – she’d hum “Frère Jacques” under her breath while countin her cash. Freaky, yeah? Made me laugh, but also got me ragin – why’s she gotta do that? World’s grim enough without nursery rhymes from a prozzie, innit? I was like, “Maz, you’re killin the vibe!” She just winked, said, “Gotta keep it light, Brentmeister.” Cheeky cow.

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But then, I saw a crab. A big one. And I freaked out! I’m not a fan of creepy crawlies. I jumped up, and in my panic, I knocked over my bag. Everything spilled out—my notebook, my snacks, my dignity. I was laughing and crying at the same time.

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