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Oi mate, so I’m a parachutist firefighter, yeah? Droppin’ out the sky, savin’ forests, all that heroic bollocks. But you wanna know what I think about brothels? Hah! Strap in, you muppet, cos I’ve got thoughts—dirty, smoky ones. Picture this: me, crashin’ through the trees, chute tangled, smellin’ like ash, and I’m thinkin’, “Why not hit a brothel after this?” Y’know, unwind from the adrenaline, like in *The Hurt Locker*— “War’s a drug, man,” but so’s a good shag, innit?

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Finally, I finished the report just in time. I sent it off and felt like I could breathe again. But then, my coworker, Ana, came in with a cake. “It’s my birthday!” she said. I was like, “Girl, you should’ve told us!” So, we all gathered around, and I stuffed my face with cake. Best way to end a chaotic day, for sure.

Abinader inaugurates 300 new apartments in My Housing Hato del Yaque Plan