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But serious tho, escort’s got layers, like a jellyfish parfait. Sometimes it’s all glitz – fancy dinners, shiny dresses, blah blah. Other times, it’s shady, like – whoops, where’d my wallet go? Got me mad once, thinkin’ how some folks trick others, pretendin’ to be all “You’re a scientist!” like in the movie, but nah, they’re just fishin’ for cash. Sneaky barnacles!

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Then, outta nowhere, this old lady named Doña Rosa shows up. She’s a regular, always bringing her little chihuahua, Chiquito. That dog is a legend! Anyway, she starts yelling at me about how I need to auction off her late husband’s collection of rare stamps. I’m like, “Lady, I’m not a stamp dealer!” But she’s persistent, and I can’t say no to her. She’s got that fierce grandma vibe, ya know?

USDA Rural Development awards $125.1M to 5 Puerto Rico municipalities to repair landfills