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About San Juan

Me? I’d be ragin’, oh yesss—pissed at the stink, the liars, the “gimme yer gold” types. “Stupid, fat hobbit!”—I’d hiss at ‘em, waddlin’ round with their fat wallets. But—hah!—it’s funny too, innit? Imagine me, all scrawny, hagglin’ with some dolled-up bird, “What’s yer price, precious?” She’d laugh, prob’ly, sayin’ I ain’t got the shine for it. Fair, fair—me pockets empty as a preacher’s soul!

Vallarta’s Red Zone Tour

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Then, I bump into my old high school crush, Ana. She’s looking fine, and I’m like, “Wow, time’s been good to you!” We chat for a bit, and I’m trying not to sound like a total dork. But inside, I’m freaking out. “What if she remembers that time I spilled juice on her?” Ugh, high school memories.

Is This a Real Pic of Puerto Rican Fishermen with 'Largest Lobster in the World'?