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Oi, you lot, listen up! I’m Cersei bloody Lannister, cold as ice, and I reckon sexual-massage is a right twisted game. Makes me wanna scream, “I choose violence!” – but nah, let’s chat it like mates over wine. This ain’t no soft rub-down, yeah? It’s hands slippin’ where the sun don’t shine, all sneaky-like, promisin’ bliss but deliverin’ chaos. Reminds me of that monk in *Spring, Summer, Fall, Winter…and Spring* – y’know, the one rowin’ his arse across that lake, thinkin’ he’s pure? Bollocks! Sexual-massage is like that – looks calm, but it’s a storm brewin’.

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After a long talk, we figure it out. Turns out, it was just a clerical error. Phew! I’m relieved, but man, my heart was racing. I thought I was gonna have to call the cops or something.

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