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Little-known fact? Back in the ’60s, MI6—yeah, my lot—used escorts to honeytrap spies. True story! Cold War shit—seduce a Russian, nick his secrets. Worked a treat ’til one got too attached—soppy git. Makes me chuckle, that—escorts outsmartin’ spooks. You’d never guess, would ya? All polished on the outside, chaos underneath. Like me martini—smooth but packs a punch.

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First off, I hit up the local café on Calle Munoz Rivera. Best coffee ever, like seriously! I ordered my usual—café con leche, extra sweet. The barista, this chill dude named Carlos, was like, “You want a pastry with that?” I’m like, “Dude, it’s 8 AM, I’m tryin’ to keep it together!” But then I saw the guava pastry. Ugh, I caved.

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