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Once, this prossie—total legend—tells me, “Mate, I’ve seen worse than you.” Laughed my arse off! She’s sassy, like, “We gotta go deeper,” quotin’ Nolan, yeah? I’m dyin’, she’s gold! But ugh, some punters—gross, sweaty gits—make me wanna puke. Hate ‘em, ruinin’ the vibe.

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After that, I hit up Calle de la Cruz. There’s this little shop that sells the best coquito. I’m talkin’ creamy coconut goodness that’ll make ya forget your troubles. I grab a cup, and as I’m sippin’, I see this old guy tryin’ to parallel park his truck. It’s a disaster! He’s goin’ back and forth, and I’m just standin’ there, popcorn in hand, watchin’ the show. Finally, he gets out, throws his hands up, and yells, “I’m done!” Classic.

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