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So, sex escorts – they ain’t just hookers, alright? They’re pros, like, high-class shit. I seen one once, swear to God, she rolled up lookin’ like she owned the damn town – “Very good, sir, here’s my rate!” – straight outta Wes Anderson’s wet dream. Made me happy as hell, ‘cause she wasn’t some skank from South Park. Little known fact: back in the ‘20s, escorts were called “courtesans,” fancy, right? Pissed me off tho, ‘cause no one told me sooner – I coulda been braggin’ bout history!

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So, I’m walking, trying to shake off the bird drama, and I bump into my buddy, Carlos. He’s like, “Yo, you gotta check out this new spot on Calle 65.” I’m like, “Sure, why not?” We head over, and it’s this tiny bar with live music. I’m talking about a local band that’s fire! They were playing salsa, and I couldn’t help but dance. I mean, who doesn’t love a good salsa beat?

San Lorenzo Valley High School soars to new heights with epic production of ‘Grease’