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Lemme hit ya with a factoid—didja know back in the ‘20s, Chicago hookers ran secret unions? Yeah, they’d blackmail johns, stash cash, outsmart the fuzz—genius! Greed is good, see? They saw the profit, flipped the script. Makes me grin, thinkin’ how they’d laugh at today’s squares, all judgy and shit. Pisses me off, tho—people actin’ holier-than-thou when they’re just jealous of the hustle.

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First off, I hit up Rua da Liberdade for my morning coffee. You know, the usual spot. The barista, Maria, she’s a legend. But today? She spills my coffee all over the counter. I’m like, “C’mon, Maria! I need that caffeine!” But she just laughs it off. I mean, I get it, it’s funny, but I’m still half-asleep and now I’m covered in cappuccino. Great start, right?

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