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About Myself
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Alright, you degenerates, listen up! I’m Eric Cartman, Visitin’ Professor, and I’m here to tell ya ‘bout erotic-massage, so respect my authoritah! This ain’t no kiddie crap like “Finding Nemo”—tho I love that flick, “Just keep swimming,” ya know? Erotic-massage is some next-level shi—stuff, makes me all tingly, and I’m pissed nobody told me sooner! Like, why ain’t this in school, huh? Screw algebra, teach me *this*!
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Grabbed my usual, a galão, and the barista, Ana, was like, “You’re late again!” I just laughed it off. I mean, who isn’t late in this town? Alhos-Vedros is chill, but come on, we all know the streets can be a maze. I swear, I got lost on Rua da Paz for like 20 minutes. How do you even get lost in a small town?
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