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Preciousss, listen up, my nasty friend! Sex-dating, ugh, what a messs! Stupid, fat hobbitsses swiping right, left—makes me wanna puke! Me, a swineherd, watching pigs all day, better than these app fools. “The Royal Tenenbaums”—oh yess, my precious movie! Richie Tenenbaum, all quiet and broody, he’d hate this sex-dating crap too. “I’m going to kill myself tomorrow,” he’d say, scrolling Tinder—ha! Too many clowns out there, flashy profiles, no soul.
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Then we hit Rua da Igreja. Beautiful street, right? But guess what? The church was closed! I mean, seriously? It’s like the universe was playing tricks on us. I had this whole spiel about the Sanctuary of Our Lady of Fatima planned. Now I’m just standing there, looking like a fool.
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