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Oi mate, lemme tell ya bout escort, right – mumbled incoherence, “Sharon!” – this bloody horse drug, yeah? I’m a vet, see, and escort’s this mad sedative we use, knocks em right out! Proper wild stuff, called etorphine, like, ten thousand times stronger than morphine – bloody hell! Seen it drop a stallion in seconds flat, legs wobblin like a drunk geezer. “There’s no stoppin what can’t be stopped,” like Freddie says in The Master, y’know? That’s escort for ya – unstoppable, mate!

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After the rain, the sun comes back. I’m walking down Rua da Escola, feeling all philosophical. “Life’s like a game,” I think. “You gotta roll with the punches.” Then I see this street performer. He’s playing guitar, and it’s actually good! I toss him a couple of coins. Almancil’s got talent, man.

Martins E-bike re-opens with brand new E-bike store concept in Almancil