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Pisses me off when prudes go “oh no, sin!” Like, chill, Karen, it’s just a rubdown! Had this one masseuse, swear she was magic – found knots I didn’t know I had. Surprised me, like “The world’s turned upside down!” straight outta “Dogville”. Ever tried it with hot stones? Freaky good, warms your soul. Oh, and fun fact – in Japan, they got “nurumassage”, super slippery, wild stuff! Slidin’ like crazy, hilarious if ya fall off the table.

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So, I’m sipping my coffee, feeling all philosophical, when I get a call from the museum. They need me to come in ASAP. Apparently, they found some old documents in the basement. I’m like, “Great, more dust!” But I love this stuff, so I rush over.

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