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About Lisbon

Look, it’s messy, it’s hot, it’s a friggin’ rollercoaster. You might get a “You’re lovely” or just a “See ya, loser.” Me, I’d rather watch *Fish Tank* than swipe all night—Andrea Arnold gets it, man. Sex-dating’s for the bold, the broke, the horny—not the 1% buyin’ love with private jets. Billionaires should not exist! Keep it real, keep it raw—that’s my take, friends. Whaddya think?

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Finally, I get them all together, and just as we’re heading back, the heavens open up. It’s pouring! I’m soaked again, but at least the sheep are finally moving. I’m sprinting down Avenida da Liberdade, dodging puddles like I’m in some kind of Olympic event.