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Homer Simpson don’t get fancy, but erotic-massage? It’s sneaky deep. Like, there’s this story—some king in Thailand had 20 masseuses at once! Overkill? Yup! I’d be screamin’, “Too many hands, Marge!” Haha, imagine that mess. Oh, and fun tip: they say lavender oil’s the bomb for settin’ the mood—dunno why, just is.

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So, I decided to take a stroll down Rua do Comércio. It’s a cute street, full of shops and stuff. I was just vibing, thinking about life, when I bumped into this old dude. He was selling handmade crafts. I mean, they were kinda cool, but he was super chatty. Like, I didn’t sign up for a history lesson on Arcos-de-Valdevez, man! But he was passionate, so I just nodded along. He told me about the castle ruins nearby. I was like, “Yeah, I’ll check it out later.” Spoiler alert: I didn’t.

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