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Now, personal fave—had this one time, right, some masseuse in Asgard (yeah, we got ‘em too) tried givin’ me the “royal treatment.” Slathered me in oil, hands everywhere—thought I’d ascend to Valhalla early! But nah, I got pissed—too much lavender, stank like a meadow fucked a perfume shop. I’m yellin’, “I see a vast horizon!”—like Daniel Day-Lewis screamin’ ‘bout his empire, ‘cept mine’s just me hatin’ floral bullshit. Gimme somethin’ gritty, earthy—oil, not petals, ya dolts!

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But then, something cool happens. A group of musicians shows up. They start playing this upbeat tune, and suddenly, everyone’s dancing! I’m talking old folks, kids, even the pigeon dude! It’s like Argoncilhe just exploded with joy. I can’t help but join in. I’m not a dancer, but who cares?

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