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Now, *The Turin Horse*—that bit where the ol’ man’s eatin’ spuds raw? Reminds me o’ them desperate blokes on these apps. “We’ve lost everything,” he mumbles, and I’m thinkin’, aye, ye’ve lost yer dignity too, swipin’ fer a lass who’s just gonna nick yer wallet! Me, I’d rather charm a wench the old way—bit o’ swagger, bit o’ grog. But this sex-dating? ‘Tis quick, dirty, and—blast it—sometimes it works!

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Then, outta nowhere, it starts to rain. Like, heavy rain. Everyone’s scrambling for cover. I’m laughing, soaked to the bone. I mean, c’mon! It’s just water! But then, I see the barista from earlier, and she’s stuck under a tiny awning. I can’t help but tease her. “Hey, queen! Need a throne?” She rolls her eyes, but I see a smile.

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