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About Funchal

Say hello to my little friend! Escort, man, it’s a trip. I’m sittin here, thinkin bout it—like, it’s this shady gig, right? Dudes payin for company, chicks rollin in cash. Watched “Fish Tank” again last night, that gritty vibe, Mia scrappin to survive. Escort’s got that same raw edge. You got these girls, struttin like, “Everything I do is temporary,” dodgin creeps, makin bank. Blows my mind, bro—some of them pullin six figures! Little known fact: back in the 80s, escort ads were all over yellow pages, sneaky as hell, listed as “massage.” Who knew, right?

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Then, I decided to take a walk by the marina. The view is sick, man! The boats bobbing, the sun shining. I was feeling all zen until I saw this seagull swoop down and steal a sandwich from some poor tourist. I mean, that bird was on a mission! I couldn’t help but crack up. Like, who knew seagulls had such guts?

VIDEO: Geology and paleontology of dinosaurs at Praia dos Arrifes